


I Love You, Too

by princeDirk (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Possibly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2012-11-14
Packaged: 2017-11-18 15:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/princeDirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk had been unable to tell Kankri his true feelings for quite some time. He'd never said anything more than a simple "I hate you." That was all that was necessary. Through the lectures, through the pain. Through the kisses and falling asleep with his head in the troll's lap.</p>
<p>It was all he needed.</p>
<p>But when Kankri started saying the dreaded, the revered "I love you," his facade cracked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You, Too

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Memaboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memaboo/gifts).



> Wow I hope I didn't ruin this.  
> I am sorry in advance.
> 
> But I'm really not.

Those three words. The words that he hated.  
Oh, how he despised them. He loathed them. He wished that they did not exist.

But he loved them.  
He cherished them. He looked upon them fondly. He wished he could say them.

Dirk had been unable to tell Kankri his true feelings for quite some time. He'd never said anything more than a simple "I hate you." That was all that was necessary. Through the lectures, through the pain. Through the kisses and falling asleep with his head in the troll's lap.

It was all he needed.

But when Kankri started saying the dreaded, the revered "I love you," his facade cracked.

The gray-skinned suitor had made sure to say it at least once a day. If Dirk had been paying attention - and he secretly had, though he pretended he hadn't - he would notice that he'd made a point to say it at least once during every lecture.

A constant reminder of things that he did not deserve. He would never be able to live up to the worth of Kankri's feelings.

But with every new mention of that phrase, he fractured a little bit more.

It went from 

"I love you."

"I hate you."

to

"I love you."

"I know."

It was a change that was subtle. But it was also cataclysmic at the same time. Every fiber of Dirk's being screamed at him to reverse his course. _Mayday, mayday! Abort mission, abort mission!_

But he wouldn't listen to himself. Wouldn't do what he knew should be best for him.  
His friends, though they would not say it, would probably have encouraged this action.

Eventually this dreaded phrase started earning kisses in response. Little pecks on the lips. Enough to keep Kankri quiet for a good two or three minutes. That's all Dirk really needed.

 

When that ended, though, Dirk couldn't really say for certain whether it had been worth it or not.

Kankri had just come home from Maryam's place. She had been mending his sweater - the one he still refused to get rid of, despite all of Dirk's protesting - and he had ended up staying after to talk to her about certain things. The actual topics, Dirk would never know.

Dirk had been in the apartment, working on AR's language functions and running some system diagnostics. He supposed he could say that he was trying to tweak the behavior protocols and get it to sound more like himself. Needless to say, it didn't work. AR still acted like the thirteen year-old douchewad that Dirk had been at that age.

He had been thinking, too. About his friends, about his life. About Kankri. He wanted to try and sort out his feelings. Well, it wasn't that hard to do. He knew that he was in love with the guy. It went more along the lines of him trying to figure out if he was certain, and, if he was - he was - what he should do about it.

He hadn't come up with anything that wasn't entirely stupid.

Kankri sat himself down on the couch next to Dirk, who was currently busying himself by playing with a few spare gears. He yawned, worn out from hours of talking and not-actually-listening to Porrim. Then he opened his mouth to launch some more talking. Probably about how his day went.

He stopped himself suddenly, face turning contemplative. What should his next move be?

And then, without warning: "I love you, Dirk."

Strider was caught off-guard. His eyebrows shot up. He was pretty sure his expression didn't betray him, but he could have been wrong.

"What?"

"I love you," Kankri reaffirmed. He appeared to be ready to start talking again, but again stopped. He waited for a reply. Dirk wondered if he was in a dream. The horned boy in front of him had never been this quiet. Not ever.

He wanted to say "I know" or "Yeah, sure." Hell, even just a grunt probably would have sufficed. They could go on with their day. Their lives would be no different.

In this instant, Dirk found himself caught up by the look in Kankri's eyes. Something about them was different - though it wan't much; they were almost completely white, after all.

But something about them was hypnotizing.

Dirk leaned over, setting the gears on the couch beside him, and pressed his lips to the troll's. Soft and warm, not something you would expect from a dead person. But Dirk knew this feeling quite well. Kankri was eager enough to return the gesture, placing a hand tentatively on the human's thigh.

Once they broke away for a little breathing room, Kankri started with the apologies. If anything was going on that Dirk didn't like, Dirk should tell him right now. If they were to continue, Dirk should let him know what his boundaries are.

"I don't want to trigger -" Kankri began. He ceased when Dirk held up a hand to stop him. Wow, that was new.

"I love you, too."

It was out now. No going back. If Kankri were to have an adverse reaction, now would be the time to do it. Best to get it over with now, rather than later.

But Kankri merely smiled. Perhaps brighter than Dirk had seen.

Dirk was afraid of love because of Kankri, and he hated it. He was afraid of love, and he loved it.  
He was in love with Kankri, and he knew it.  
And now Kankri did, too.


End file.
